January 5th 2020
Thankfulness: I did my ‘active reach’ activities yesterday. Some where really heart felt and some were just going through the motion, but regardless I felt and feel different today. Stronger in a way
Step 1 (capture thought) – my thoughts are still mostly unhelpful. My behavior is different even though my thoughts really haven’t changed. I’m reacting different.
Step 2 (payer and listen) – I enjoy cooking and preparing dinner, but something deep within me feels anxious and rushed. I wonder what this is all about. Father, reveal to me what’s behind these emotions.
Step 3 (journal) – Psalm 19:14 is helping me capture my thoughts quickly. I continue to repeat this verse over and over so that each time I think poorly about myself – that verse becomes my default response. I can’t believe how quickly this is happening. The thing I can’t really figure out yet is the change in my focus and attention after 5pm. I don’t know if it’s the rush of the night, the chaos of a full house or the selfish thoughts I’m having (like: no one ever helps me..I do everything around here) that keep me in a mindset up irritation. Regardless I know that God is going to further reveal this to me, I see that there is something – the light is shining on it and so all I have to do is stick to this mind renewal journey.
Step 4 (pray and listen for today’s active steps) – pre make dinner see if that helps, choose peace, be aware of my emotions after 5 (what’s behind the anxiety), Why am I so tired – is it physical or emotional
Step 5 (active reach) – continue to repeat psalm 19:14 and add Proverbs 4:20-23. Pray for alertness before the house becomes full after school. When anxiety creeps in – pause and pray – nothing needs to be done more than being present and joyful with my family.