January 13, 2020
Thankful – growth. drive is having a huge effect. This daily mind renewal – I want to last forever
Step 1 (Captivate thoughts) – When I began this journey I had no idea how much I thought about food or how often I thought about things other than love. It’s no wonder it’s such a strong hold and why I continue to trip. I have a long way to go. Even though I’m aware now – I still have all that work to renew my thoughts.
Step 2 (focused reflection) – Accomplished: aware of food and body thoughts. see my lack of affection and patience within my home as a place of brokenness. I desire to walk like God. Work: still need to work on capturing all my thoughts so I can change my default process. Need to fully believe that God will fill me. Hold on loosely to my desires and seek for God’s first. Hold with open hands my broken heart and allow God to heal it – stop holding it in and pretending it’s not there.
Step 3 (journal) – I feel along in my marriage and in parenting. I am probably to blame for much of it because I like things done in a particular way. I know that Tim doesn’t see things that way that I do. But other than that he doesn’t hear me or listen to what I say or am talking about most of the time. Honestly, thought, I get it. His focus is on his needs and his to-dos. Our desires in marriage are different. hes are more physical, mine are more companion needs. Someone I can talk with and understand me. Someone that accepts me – the good, the bad, the pains and the growths. I don’t know if that will ever happen or change, but it’s a way I need to look at things. I feel stressed and lonely raising 2 step-daughters and my daughter. Trying to keep us on mission to grow and learn hard work and dedication – but I also feel like I am trying to convince my husband to do the same. Truth is, its not my job to be his Holy Spirit. I need to accept where we are and hold my hurts with open hands. He doesn’t ever intend to hurt me – He’s just spiritually immature… There are a lot of toxic thoughts and hurts between us. I am unsure how or what to do with the hurts. I need to not let them lead my life though.
Step 4 (pray and listen) – Don’t sweat the small stuff. AND it’s all small stuff. I’m thankful for my marriage and the struggles because it’s all opportunities for God to do work in both of our lives. let go of my people pleasing mentality and live in truth. Change your thought life – change your home. I am set apart for God and must live all areas of life this way.
Step 5 (active reach) – Whoever is annoying you – hug them. Repeat scripture (Psalm 19:14) Replace every food thought with prayer and look for God’s will to serve others. Get back into a fitness routine that includes Revelation Wellness – working out with scripture has always been so live giving.