The joys of marriage always bring about conflicts. It’s inevitable – you put two very different people in close proximity for life – yeah – conflict is unavoidable!
After a recent spat with my husband, I was dealing with the afterthoughts of my behavior and still stubbornly upset with him. I know I can only work on me so To clear my mind I jumped into my bible study. Ok actually it was to avoid taking blame in the fight… but It turns out I walked right into the conviction I was trying to avoid.
The Bible study lighthearted says look up the following verses and note how they relate to our topic today and how can you apply them in your life.
Yay – ok I think let’s apply the word! Joyfully, I look up the first verse Romans 12:10 – Love one another – as a matter of fact if someone is loving you or not loving you – love them better! (My translation) Woah – that felt like a firm slap of conviction.
They can’t all be the same right? Verse two, not feeling as joyful to look it up but still excited to see what it has to say… Romans 12:16 (my translation) live in harmony stop thinking you’re always right- ugh another slap of conviction! At this point, I’m thinking it would have been easier to do the self-reflection I was avoiding.
Slap 3 and 4 I took quickly to lessen the blows of Romans 14:13 and Galatians 6:2 (my translation)- don’t judge others, it makes it easier to see their faults. As a matter of fact – those faults you see – carry them for each other like God carries all of yours… at this point I look up to the heavens and whine – “but it’s soooo hard…”
But wait, there is still one more verse I’m being asked to look up. I’m quite hesitant to look this one up but glad it’s the last one, for now…I open to this one pretty slow, ok my guilt is actually flinching like it’s about to get hit in the face again… 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (my translation) encourage and build each other up… no matter what – always!
“Really! Ugh, how in the world can I build someone up when I’m so….” and there it was, right in the middle of me complaining about how hard it is. The last piece of training that came from the Holy Spirit into my heart… “doesn’t God continue to build you up even though you continue to sin… doesn’t he love you always no matter what…?!”
Some of the best ways God brings us the truth is when we’re stuck being stubborn and selfish. If I had read these verses before our little argument I would have said: “Amen, let’s go build each other up…” However, As soon as I read the first verse I knew this was about my selfish feelings toward my husband that I needed to stop – get over myself and be more like Jesus.
Just because I read these verses and am convicted by them, doesn’t mean it will be easy to carry out. As a matter of fact, I don’t have this strength alone – I need God to help me renew my mind and my heart, so I am no longer right in my own eyes, but I’m His.
Lord, help us all who stumble in conflict and get stuck not being able to rise above our own hurt to treat others as you call us to do. Help us turn to the truth at all times so that we are equipped with your wisdom in all circumstances. In Jesus name Amen
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